There are many times in life where veterans are proud to both be veterans and proud of their country. If you're like me, and have been watching the Olympics recently, you can't help but smile at Russia's constant problems and bad press. So here are the moments that have brought the biggest smiles to my face.
I’m fairly certain I saw Duck Dynasty put up some Christmas lights that would blow these lights out of the water. I’m not saying that this is easy, but a redneck with duct tape, Christmas lights, and beer wouldn’t have this problem.
If you didn’t know this already, let me let you in on a little secret. When you bring any electronic equipment into Russia (or many other countries) and connect to their network, your equipment will be compromised. At least when America hacks into your equipment, it takes an American to let the world in on the secret. Also, the Russians are supposedly bugging showers so....
Women’s downhill skiing had to be halted because the jump was too big… yes you read that right… The Russians, who basically live in snow year round, couldn’t put piles of snow together to make proper jumps. Even more embarrassing, they didn’t realize the issue, because they couldn’t find any skiers who were fast enough to test out the downhill course.
If you were in Iraq and had Iraqis on your base at times, you probably saw footprints occasionally straddling your shitter seat. But this is just so confusing. First, why can’t you pee standing up? Second, how else are you supposed to vomit into the toilet after a night of drinking vodka? Third, how many Russians believe that fishing in a toilet is a problem? Fourth, why isn’t crouching tiger hidden dragon allowed in the bathroom?